There. I’ve put my neck on the line and will state that I have eaten the best burger in Cape Town. And that is a brave statement considering the many, many great burger places all over our fair city. But the best one is to be found at The Dog’s Bollocks at the Yard in Gardens on Roodehek street. In true Cape Town style it’s very very different from any other burger joint. It’s in a yard/garage and consists of some iron furniture that I’m pretty sure my gran once owned, old lampshades and a counter where Nigel Wood makes his magic.
There is no cutlery, no waiters, no choice of drinks, just red or white wine and no ice. All there is is a chalkboard with the day’s burgers. Just burgers, no chips. And a giant chalkboard door that you have to write your name and number of burgers you want to ensure you get one as there are only 50 burgers served a night so when they’re gone there are no more. The burgers range from R55 to R65 and every single one sounded amazing.
There is one giant knife behind the counter that Nigel will gladly lend you to cut your enormous burger. And you will have to cut it. And take lots of serviettes. Because it is MESSY. I had the Mexican chilli chocolate burger and the Photog wrapped his mouth around a chilli burger. Luckily we’d been on many dates so I didn’t feel the need to try hide my dripping and smeared visage from him as I tucked in (ladies no first dates are recommended). He even took a photo of me mid feast but that will never see the light of day.
I didn’t care though, I was too busy devouring the most scrumptious burger I have ever tasted. You won’t miss the chips, this monster is more than enough. If you do want something other to drink than wine there’s a garage around the corner where you can get cooldrinks or just bring a cooler box of beer and give Nigel one as corkage.
It gets very busy and you can’t book a table so arrive early, it opens at 5pm and closes at 10pm. The Yard also hosts other foodie delights, such as the Bitches Tits which is open during the day and serves lunchtime delights like famous sandwiches and stuff, the Deluxe Coffee Works operates in the back with some of the best coffee in town and Mucky Mary’s hubcap breakfast which is a type of build your own breakfast.
So there’s something for everyone in this tasty cram. But try the burgers first. Trust me.